08.14.2014 || August in ABQ, Snapshots I
This summer has not been what I anticipated. The warmth of the pacific sunlight that I was once so excited for has realistically brought me strides upon strides of stress, hardship, busyness and an ache in my heart unlike any before. After concluding two jobs, nine summer credits, preparation for an upcoming show and one month of a world turned upside down, my aching bones yearned for a rest that I hoped to find in the expected comfort of home.
A strange thing happened - or rather didn’t happen - when the wheels touched down in the Land of Enchantment: my troubles did not magically melt away in the desert sun. Instead they were laid out on the kitchen table, blatantly waiting for me to address them with every meal I sat down to eat. They continued to present themselves in places that I did not think they could exist; places two-thousand miles away that I did not think they were able to reach.
This home (in a childhood-sanctuary sense) is filled with people who know what my roots look like from below the surface, not solely the sprouts that have emerged in the Washington rain. It is filled with old comforts that do not always fit this new being I have shifted into, but hold safety nonetheless. It is filled with tiny furry creatures that have not felt my loving touch in many months, but continue to share their purrs and allow me to seek comfort in them. These things, along with many others, in no way make my troubles disappear; instead they hold my hands, look me in the eyes, tell me that I am a woman of strength, show me that I am more than worthy of love and belonging, inspire me to transform my pain into art and allow me a path to continue putting one foot in front of the other (even on days when it seems impossible).